actions speak volumes.
words mean nothing
when there is concrete evidence that represents truth outside what has been said.
what's demonstrated becomes more believable
than the shit that runs rampant from your lips
and puddles at my feet in piles of sewage.
i wallow in it
searching for truth
that neeedle in this haystack of lies
and as i hunt, i cry
because the pain has passed unbearable
and has receded into a dull ache that i never thought i would have to deal with
i'm coping with the constant stab of missing you
the relentless jab of doubting you
the unmistakable pressure of distrust.

we don't talk
and i hate this
what is this relationship?
you are selfish
and i have realized that there are truth in those words that you've constantly spoken.
how can i promise to always be yours if you show no interest in me
if you show no inkling that you care.
your actions speak louder than your words
and i am drifting away against my own will
my resolve for you is weakening
and the rational part of my brain is winning the battle of you.
my mind,
my heart even,
is chosing against you wholeheartedly.
these pieces aren't mending
because you constantly step on them again
and i don't think you deserve my heart once i've repaired it
you've done nothing to prove to me that you're different.
you will always be you
and you will always break my heart.
i don't think i can do this.


i've forgiven
but it's much to hard to forget
as visions of your tiny dancer
twirl through my head
as you reach for her hand...
and she pirouettes away
taking the heart you promised me
with her.
how could you
how dare you
make this drastic change
and expect nothing to change.

how many times will i allow you to break my heart.

"watch out for heartbreakers."


i am radio
seeking the station that plays your love 24/7
but all i find is static
&nd mixed messages
i can't tune in properly
...you won't let me
i'll take the white noise for now
if that means i'll be allowed to listen permanently.
♥