Hate destroys.
Tonight
Today
This week
This month
I am in it's damaging path.
I hate you.
I love you.
I am in love with you.
Something you don't realize.
And I am trying my hardest to understand this flurry of confusion in my mind
That leads me to believe that I can love you and hate you at the same time
In the same breath
Moment
Point in time
There is no thin line between love and hate
They are not opposites
Or maybe it is and I have a foot on both sides
Indifference.
I wish for it because that is the opposite of both those words
I won't care
And with love and hate you care in grand amounts.
But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride right?
But wishing isn't working
And those falling stars have failed me
No more starlight, star bright
11:11 never helped me
And, today, in this instant, dreams never come true.
I am losing the battle
Of fighting this addiction of you
I am searching for that high that I will never achieve again
My heart is breaking
My heart is shattering
Crumbling
I am wilting
In your hands
But I can't comprehend why I am so surprised
I knew you'd hurt me from day one
So why do I have tear streaks on my face
And little dots of salt water on my sheet?
This is my conundrum
But not really...
Because figuring this out isn't easy
It's the doing that's hard.
Nobody said it was gonna be easy
But nobody said it was gonna be this hard.
And I bleed my heart out
I pour my emotion into these words night after night to no release...

And I tell myself that I don't give a fuck
But it's the most blatant lie I've ever told myself in my life
Who do I trust?
No one, not even myself
Because even I lie to me...