i yearn for freedom
release
emancipation
from me
the bars
the walls i've placed around myself
i am a prisoner to self doubt
a slave to my insecurities

and i am unsure of this concept
of not knowing that the future holds
not knowing what i'll live to regret
not knowing if i'll breathe another day
not knowing if i'll be okay

what if i'm
not enough?
pretty enough
good enough
smart enough
just not enough

can i just get a glimpse of the me i'll grow to be
can someone, anyone
out there somewhere, anywhere
hear me
feel me?
can you relate to me and my inferiority comple
my fears of myself
fear that i'll never measure up
to the expectations
the world seems to expect me to meet?

or am i alone
wrapped in an impenetrable solitude
of my "unsurity"
so many of who call it nonsensicality
because they believe in me
have so much faith in me
why?
why do you trust me with your hopes
when i have so little faith in myself?
i don't want to let you down
i'm suffocating as my fears become an ocean and slowly drown me
eliminating my ability to draw the vital oxygen that our body needs.
we depend on it
have faith that it'll be there
with every new breath
that we take
but what happens if it fails us?
we die...
and that's how it feels sometimes
people want, need, think so much of me...
it's a burden
it's like i'm doing what
i have to
in order to please
everyone but myself.
and when i start living for me
it's rebellion

still a slave to my insecurities
still a prisoner of self doubt
but add that i'm chained to my dreams of who i'd like to be...