...envelops me
overtakes me
overwhelmes me
as i experience this...
this withdrawal.
you're not here.
and it feels [wrong].
makes me restless
disallows sleep to find me.
i'm uncomfortable
i find comfort
nowhere but in the warmth of you...
the warmth of your eyes
your arms
your touch
the warmth i've felt
nowhere else
but in your presence...

i've been awarded
a warped present
a twisted gift
in you.
nobody, but i, want you in my life.
nobody knows the intensity is wrapped in secrecy.
cloaked in your[darkness]
covered in my [light]
we are two completely different extremities...

but then i get confused
in this hurt that consumes
and contributes to
my sadness
and i become incoherent...
as it takes over me:
mind &nd body...
why does he do this to me?
why can he do this to me?
why doesn't it hurt him
like it hurts me?

or does it?
and he refuses to show me...
what will we be?
what will time bring?...
<3


I question how much I really mean to you
Not having spoken to you in
So many days, seconds, hours, minutes
Breaks my heart
But my pride still disallows me
To contact you
I will smile and wave
Wiggle my fingers
And resent the fact that I can't hold back
The smile that completely invades my features
No matter what you do.

But still I wonder
With our opposing natures:
Are we meant to be together?
Do we complete each other?
Am I here for you?
Because they say that opposites attract like magnets.
Are you the negative to my positive?
The wrong to my right?
The sun to my light?
Where do you fit into my life?
Are you meant to be my
First taste of pain
Of heartbreak
Have you walked into my life in order to teach me how to let go?
You affect me...
So much...
I yearn for your touch
My first real taste of reciprocity
Which leaves me wondering what we could be
A second
A minute
An hour
A day
A year
Decade
Lifetime from now.
This uncertainty kills me
In more ways than one.
Darkness takes over my senses
When we fight
When we argue
When I cry
Can I endure this pain and hurt?
Indefinitely...

But
Despite my pain
Forever will never be enough
For my first love
You have my heart completely
You've regained the pieces I have
Scattered around
This island
After I've let go of love that hasn't been returned.
You've repaired my heart...

Please don't break it again.
Please don't hurt me.
I aint too proud to beg
For the health of my heart..
I aint too proud to let down this hard facade
I'll let it down for you
You've broken down the rest of my walls
Like Be said "they didn't even make a sound"
But I doubt you still...
Always will I be skeptical
Tomorrow you can be gone
Willingly or without a choice
Promises are made to be broken, babe,
So please don't promise me.
Don't build my hopes up
Only to let me down...