"i must have rehearsed my lines a thousand times
until i had them memorized..."

and i'm anticipating the time
that i will see you again
so i can tell you what's on my mind
on my heart
what i FEEL...

"but when i get up the nerve
to tell you the words
they never seem to
COME OUT RIGHT"

and i'm wonderin
how this will turn out
because i'm pretty sure
that what i want
isnt what he wants
and this is slowly driving me crazy
as i sit and think and contemplate
my next move...

and i create my scenario in my mind
and i KNOW it will never turn out like that
too bad my mind doesnt completely control my life...

"but you don't even suspect
could probably care less
about the changes i've been
going through..."

and they're numerous
too many to name
the denial
the confusion
the embarrasement
the indecisiveness
and then...i see him
and everything seems so right
and then so wrong...
in the space of a split second...
and i just surrender
and flow through it...
and live with all of these emotions
afterwards...

"and if only you knew..."